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That time machine really did a number on me. Know where I can get some bud? Walmart.

That time machine really did a number on me. Know where I can get some bud? Walmart. The Rock Driving
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101,798 shares

Say goodbye to your family I'm taking you on a romantic weekend getaway

Say goodbye to your family I'm taking you on a romantic weekend getaway Dating Site Murderer
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264,539 shares

text crush all day long see them in person and don't say a word

text crush all day long see them in person and don't say a word Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin
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165,254 shares

80% chance of rain? 0% chance of going to class

80% chance of rain? 0% chance of going to class Lazy College Senior
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55,512 shares

Hey, remember that thing your boyfriend did six months ago? He should be in trouble for that again.

Hey, remember that thing your boyfriend did six months ago? He should be in trouble for that again. Scumbag Brain
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550,206 shares

your car has a spoiler? Tell me all of your illegal street racing stories

your car has a spoiler? Tell me all of your illegal street racing stories Condescending Wonka
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67,425 shares

Not sure if hot girls hibernate in winter Or now I can just see their boobs

Not sure if hot girls hibernate in winter Or now I can just see their boobs Futurama Fry
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37,994 shares

Too tired to get up to pee Need to pee so bad I can't fall asleep anymore

Too tired to get up to pee Need to pee so bad I can't fall asleep anymore First World Problems
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264,719 shares

complains about the cost of textbooks that his parents bought for him

complains about the cost of textbooks that his parents bought for him College Freshman
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41,431 shares

has writer's block writes story about writer with writer's block

has writer's block writes story about writer with writer's block Art Student Owl
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356,216 shares