If you treat your girlfriend like a queen and she treats you like a jester Find someone else, you're obviously worth a lot more than you think

If you treat your girlfriend like a queen and she treats you like a jester Find someone else, you're obviously worth a lot more than you think  Actual Advice Mallard

Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter

Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter  Forever Alone

Dinosaurs couldn't have evolved into modern birds because they never existed in the first place!

Dinosaurs couldn't have evolved into modern birds because they never existed in the first place!  Sheltering Suburban Mom

I don't always bring you a present but when I do, its 3am and the mother fucker is still alive and fighting.

I don't always bring you a present but when I do, its 3am and the mother fucker is still alive and fighting.  The Most Interesting Cat in the World

" I don't watch TV. I don't even have a TV." Has Netflix, Hulu Plus and Amazon Prime; has seen every episode of "Gossip Girl."

If a girl asks you to get something out of her purse Bring the whole purse, that bitch is a labyrinth inside

If a girl asks you to get something out of her purse Bring the whole purse, that bitch is a labyrinth inside  Actual Advice Mallard

I don't want to go out with the guy that likes me But I don't want him to go out with anyone else either.

I don't want to go out with the guy that likes me But I don't want him to go out with anyone else either.  Confession Bear

Why the fuck when I miss your call and call immediately back do you not pick up

Why the fuck when I miss your call and call immediately back do you not pick up  Annoyed Picard HD

hot girl flirts, gives phone #, kisses me on cheek, and grabs my ass before leaving Checks wallet to make sure she's not a professional thief

hot girl flirts, gives phone #, kisses me on cheek, and grabs my ass before leaving Checks wallet to make sure she's not a professional thief  Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin

I don't always say what but when i do, i realize what you said as soon as you start repeating yourself

I don't always say what but when i do, i realize what you said as soon as you start repeating yourself  The Most Interesting Man In The World